Win Friends and Influence People

Part 1: Fundamental techniques in handling people

1. Don’t criticise, condemn or complain.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Part 2: Six ways to make people like you

1. Become genuinely interested in other people
2. Smile
3. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves
5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
6. Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely

Part 3: How to win people to your way of thinking

1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
2. Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say “You’re wrong.”
3. If you’re wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
4. Begin in a friendly way.
5. Start with questions to which the other person will answer yes.
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
7. Let the other person feel the idea is his or hers.
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
9. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
10. Appeal to the nobler motives.
11. Dramatize your ideas.
12. Throw down a challenge.

Part 4: Be a leader: How to change people without gicing offence or arousing resentment

1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
2. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
5. Let the other person save face.
6. Praise every improvement.
7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
9. Make the other person happy about

Extracts

1. So, as you read this book , remember that you are not merely trying to acquire new information. You are attempting a new way of life. That will require time and persisetence and daily application.

   p. xxv

2. Engagement book and the weekly review of conversations, ways of handling situations, work, goals, life.

   p. xxvi

3. I confessed thirty years ago that it is foolish to scold. I have enough trouble overcoming my own limitations without fretting over the fact thet God has not seen fit to distribute evenly the gift of intelligenve.

   p. 5

4. Don’t criticise them; they are just what we would be under similar circumstances.

   p. 10

5. When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.

   p. 14

6. The desire for feeling important makes you want to wear the latest styles, drive the latest cars and talk avout your brilliant children.

   p. 21

7. Emerson said: ‘Every man I meet is superior in some way. In that I learn of him. '

   p. 32

8. Let’s try to figure out the other person’s good points. Then forget flattery. Give honest, sincere, appreciation. Be ‘hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise’.

   p. 33

9. ‘If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.’

   p. 40

10. Half the time we are introduced to a stranger, we chat a few minutes and can’t even remember his or her name by the time we say goodbye.

    p. 87

11. Robert said: ‘Mom, I know you love me very much.’

    Mrs. Esposito was touched and said: ‘Of course I love you very much. Did you doubt it?’

    Robert responded: ‘No, but I really know you love me because whenever I want to talk to you about something you stop whatever you are doing and listen to me.’

    p. 94

12. ‘Because he’s a gentleman. He saw you were interested in boats , and he talked about the things he knew would interest and please you. He made himself agreeable.’

    p. 102

13. ‘Talk to people about themselves,’ said Disraeli, one of the shrewdest men who ever ruled the British Empire. ‘Talk to people about themselves and they willl listen for hours.’

    p. 118

Links

• Wikipedia